Thursday, July 29, 2010

Do we really have true friends!!

A real friend won't always wait for you to call. I've been in one-sided friendships before in which the other person, or "friend" wouldn't make any effort at all. I decided to stop calling the person for a week or so, and learned that when left to their own devices, the person wouldn't try to make plans or anything. Thinking that I might be jumping to conclusions, I gave them another week. Still nothing and then months. I haven't seen or talked to them since, and it's because she wasn't willing to make the small amount of effort to keep up our friendship. It takes two to maintain a friendship, and a real friend will eventually call, no matter who usually calls first, just to make sure everything is okay.

You can tell if someone's a real friend or not if he or she notices when something is wrong. If you're not acting like yourself or seem unhappy, a real friend will pick up on it because he or she will be paying attention to your emotions and expressions. Someone who's just acting as your friend might not notice anything at all and act as if everything is normal because he or she doesn't really know you very well, or might not even really care whether or not you're feeling alright. A real friend can read your emotions, no matter how hard you try to conceal them, and will be genuinely concerned about you.

If someone's really your friend, he or she won't give up aiding you so easily. A real friend will try to move heaven and earth for you before throwing in the towel. This means that he or she won't limit him or herself to "conventional" methods to help you out, because conventional methods are easy, and when an easy action just doesn't cut it, you'll still need help and your friend should be there for you. Good friends won't give up when they're needed, because it's easy to pretend to be a friend and back out when things get tough; it's hard to get in the middle of a problem and work your way out.

The easiest way to tell if someone is really your friend is to attempt to have a really deep, meaningful conversation with him or her. Talk about a relationship, family matters, the future or illness, or something that you find yourself thinking about when you're alone. A real friend will actually get into the conversation because he or she knows that it means something to you, whereas a "pretend" friend will say you're acting strange and dismiss the conversation. Real friends don't mind being uncomfortable or emotional every once in a while, and this test is almost sure to weed-out the fakers.

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